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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by Agent Provocateur on Dec 14, 2009 17:02:23 GMT 1, Hello all
Thought I'd pop my head above the main board's parapet and offer up some freebies to anyone who'd like one of my (mini) Christmas cards!
I had to send the APHQ elves out on the streets for a couple of weeks, selling their pointed slippered bodies to cobble together enough Great British pounds to print two different versions!
Each one is an edition of 50, I have nearly sorted out all the people on my mailing list and think there will be 15 of each going FREE if anyone would like one. All you have to do is post a witty and topical message on this thread, I will then PM the first thirty people to get their mailing address and try to dispatch asap.
Hope that all makes sense...
No Room at the Holiday Inn
Biggles – ELE
Mrs AP, myself and the APHQ elves wish you all a quality Christmas and a prosperous 2010.
AP
Hello all Thought I'd pop my head above the main board's parapet and offer up some freebies to anyone who'd like one of my (mini) Christmas cards! I had to send the APHQ elves out on the streets for a couple of weeks, selling their pointed slippered bodies to cobble together enough Great British pounds to print two different versions! Each one is an edition of 50, I have nearly sorted out all the people on my mailing list and think there will be 15 of each going FREE if anyone would like one. All you have to do is post a witty and topical message on this thread, I will then PM the first thirty people to get their mailing address and try to dispatch asap. Hope that all makes sense... No Room at the Holiday Inn Biggles – ELE Mrs AP, myself and the APHQ elves wish you all a quality Christmas and a prosperous 2010. AP
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macavity
New Member
Posts • 27
Likes • 0
December 2009
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by macavity on Dec 14, 2009 17:05:44 GMT 1, smartly done but do explain the bomber pigeon?
smartly done but do explain the bomber pigeon?
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Deleted
Posts • 0
Likes •
January 1970
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by Deleted on Dec 14, 2009 17:06:06 GMT 1, hAPpy Christmas Mr and Mrs AP
hAPpy Christmas Mr and Mrs AP
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JKW
New Member
Posts • 289
Likes • 5
December 2008
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by JKW on Dec 14, 2009 17:07:33 GMT 1, Happy christmas bombs from the bombing pigeon
Happy christmas bombs from the bombing pigeon
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Klow
New Member
Posts • 142
Likes • 38
December 2009
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by Klow on Dec 14, 2009 17:08:13 GMT 1, I get "it"!
I've been "bombed" by a pigeon before... ;D
I get "it"!
I've been "bombed" by a pigeon before... ;D
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by buffin on Dec 14, 2009 17:11:17 GMT 1, Like the second one. Christmas chocs away Ginger!
Like the second one. Christmas chocs away Ginger!
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by Agent Provocateur on Dec 14, 2009 17:24:19 GMT 1, There is a story behind the main pigeon Biggles, if you have a spare second have a look at his very own website www.grafwars.co.uk.
If you're new to the story go straight to the 'Graf wars I - Biggles' page as it tells the story from the start. The latest instalment is the 'Graf Wars II - Extinction Level Event' page.
This is the original stencil I put on the card...
There is a story behind the main pigeon Biggles, if you have a spare second have a look at his very own website www.grafwars.co.uk. If you're new to the story go straight to the 'Graf wars I - Biggles' page as it tells the story from the start. The latest instalment is the 'Graf Wars II - Extinction Level Event' page. This is the original stencil I put on the card...
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Michael Jacob
Artist
Junior Member
Posts • 2,049
Likes • 29
October 2006
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by Michael Jacob on Dec 14, 2009 17:26:47 GMT 1, Great stuff AP. Ive got last years hung in my office. Really like the top one!
Great stuff AP. Ive got last years hung in my office. Really like the top one!
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ct
New Member
Posts • 25
Likes • 0
August 2007
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by ct on Dec 14, 2009 17:35:40 GMT 1, Top one is quality
plus I can't afford to get (can't find) the girl a nice card.
Merry Christmas
Top one is quality
plus I can't afford to get (can't find) the girl a nice card.
Merry Christmas
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by distinctivevision on Dec 14, 2009 17:36:49 GMT 1, Not witty but just a joke:
Jelly baby goes 2 doctor. doc asks "whats up?" Jelly baby "fuckin Allsorts"
Not witty but just a joke:
Jelly baby goes 2 doctor. doc asks "whats up?" Jelly baby "fuckin Allsorts"
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macavity
New Member
Posts • 27
Likes • 0
December 2009
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by macavity on Dec 14, 2009 17:37:29 GMT 1, Here i was, completely open expectations, would've been satisfied with just the concept of the pigeon being surreal and out of place but you spring on me a website detailing "Mr.Biggles'" struggle with an airborne armada, alongside the rest of his backstory in five sections and a to be continued... ! Still it was very enjoyable to read and it was also good to see the old Oppenheimer quote i've been told of before ;D
Here i was, completely open expectations, would've been satisfied with just the concept of the pigeon being surreal and out of place but you spring on me a website detailing "Mr.Biggles'" struggle with an airborne armada, alongside the rest of his backstory in five sections and a to be continued... ! Still it was very enjoyable to read and it was also good to see the old Oppenheimer quote i've been told of before ;D
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by Sliding on the Walls on Dec 14, 2009 17:39:40 GMT 1, Great festive spirit there on full display!
I'd like to add the latest health & safety guideline with regards to Christmas Carols:
The Rocking Song
Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir; We will lend a coat of fur, We will rock you, rock you, rock you, We will rock you, rock you, rock you:
Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants, both due to risk of allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons. Therefore faux fur, a nice cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should be considered a suitable alternative.
Please note, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to rock baby Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at all times and be prepared to provide three forms of identification before rocking commences.
Jingle Bells
Dashing through the snow In a one horse open sleigh O'er the fields we go Laughing all the way
A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from landowners before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.
While Shepherds Watched
While shepherds watched Their flocks by night All seated on the ground The angel of the Lord came down And glory shone around
The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of year that they should watch their flocks via cctv cameras from centrally heated shepherd observation huts.
Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his/her glory all around s/he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw him, you would even say it glows.
You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place.
Little Donkey
Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load
The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles.
The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights.
We Three Kings
We three kings of Orient are Bearing gifts we traverse afar Field and fountain, moor and mountain Following yonder star
Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold' etc - gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions.
A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy cause in the recipient's name, or perhaps give a gift voucher.
We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC routefinder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels' hooves.
Away in a Manger
Away in a Manger No Crib for a bed - Social services
Great festive spirit there on full display!
I'd like to add the latest health & safety guideline with regards to Christmas Carols:
The Rocking Song
Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir; We will lend a coat of fur, We will rock you, rock you, rock you, We will rock you, rock you, rock you:
Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants, both due to risk of allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons. Therefore faux fur, a nice cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should be considered a suitable alternative.
Please note, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to rock baby Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at all times and be prepared to provide three forms of identification before rocking commences.
Jingle Bells
Dashing through the snow In a one horse open sleigh O'er the fields we go Laughing all the way
A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from landowners before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.
While Shepherds Watched
While shepherds watched Their flocks by night All seated on the ground The angel of the Lord came down And glory shone around
The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of year that they should watch their flocks via cctv cameras from centrally heated shepherd observation huts.
Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his/her glory all around s/he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw him, you would even say it glows.
You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place.
Little Donkey
Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load
The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles.
The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights.
We Three Kings
We three kings of Orient are Bearing gifts we traverse afar Field and fountain, moor and mountain Following yonder star
Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold' etc - gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions.
A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy cause in the recipient's name, or perhaps give a gift voucher.
We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC routefinder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels' hooves.
Away in a Manger
Away in a Manger No Crib for a bed - Social services
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by Agent Provocateur on Dec 14, 2009 17:45:04 GMT 1, Whoaaa, cheers slidingonthewalls ;D you're in!
macavity I know most of my other stencils have a slightly more serious angle but Biggles just seemed to emerge from my mind!
Whoaaa, cheers slidingonthewalls ;D you're in! macavity I know most of my other stencils have a slightly more serious angle but Biggles just seemed to emerge from my mind!
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by bazzj04 on Dec 14, 2009 17:48:48 GMT 1, Quality stuff AP
Quality stuff AP
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ricobenfico
Junior Member
Posts • 3,174
Likes • 364
May 2008
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by ricobenfico on Dec 14, 2009 17:50:50 GMT 1, Merry Christmas AP and the free festive cheer that you are sending out put a wee smile on my face! Thanks in advance for any card you send my way (if I'm in).
Here's something to spread the festive cheer back.....
www.noradsanta.org/en/index.html
Merry Christmas AP and the free festive cheer that you are sending out put a wee smile on my face! Thanks in advance for any card you send my way (if I'm in). Here's something to spread the festive cheer back..... www.noradsanta.org/en/index.html
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spirit
Junior Member
Posts • 2,956
Likes • 516
August 2007
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by spirit on Dec 14, 2009 17:54:54 GMT 1, one my 5 year old daughter told me...
Knock knock
who's there?
Imup...
one my 5 year old daughter told me...
Knock knock
who's there?
Imup...
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by Agent Provocateur on Dec 14, 2009 18:02:48 GMT 1, Cheers Bazz... you're already on the list and Crazyjake you are too. I will try and calculate where we are later this evening and if there are any left!
Spirit that's my favourite so far, was she trying to say the bad guy's name from the Mummy film!?
Cheers Bazz... you're already on the list and Crazyjake you are too. I will try and calculate where we are later this evening and if there are any left!
Spirit that's my favourite so far, was she trying to say the bad guy's name from the Mummy film!?
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Natas
New Member
Posts • 493
Likes • 3
June 2007
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by Natas on Dec 14, 2009 18:03:17 GMT 1, Hello mag, should be FHM!
Hello mag, should be FHM!
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by Agent Provocateur on Dec 14, 2009 18:04:58 GMT 1, Come on carl1... Mary the mother of Jesus is holding it, now why would she be reading FHM? ;D
Come on carl1... Mary the mother of Jesus is holding it, now why would she be reading FHM? ;D
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spirit
Junior Member
Posts • 2,956
Likes • 516
August 2007
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by spirit on Dec 14, 2009 18:15:36 GMT 1, Cheers Bazz... you're already on the list and Crazyjake you are too. I will try and calculate where we are later this evening and if there are any left! Spirit that's my favourite so far, was she trying to say the bad guy's name from the Mummy film!?
Nope - she was just trying to get me to say Imup who... (I'm a poo)
Cheers Bazz... you're already on the list and Crazyjake you are too. I will try and calculate where we are later this evening and if there are any left! Spirit that's my favourite so far, was she trying to say the bad guy's name from the Mummy film!? Nope - she was just trying to get me to say Imup who... (I'm a poo)
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fuzzed
Junior Member
Posts • 1,399
Likes • 229
April 2008
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by fuzzed on Dec 14, 2009 18:31:04 GMT 1, Knock Knock, Who's There? Arthur, Arthur Who? Arthur any mince pies left?!
Hohoho - would love a card if any spare, they look great!
Knock Knock, Who's There? Arthur, Arthur Who? Arthur any mince pies left?!
Hohoho - would love a card if any spare, they look great!
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Cornish Crayon
Junior Member
Posts • 3,965
Likes • 2,902
December 2007
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by Cornish Crayon on Dec 14, 2009 19:39:55 GMT 1, Mail your parcels nice and early, so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Merry Christmas
Mail your parcels nice and early, so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. Merry Christmas
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by Agent Provocateur on Dec 14, 2009 19:46:44 GMT 1, Haha cheers for the explanation spirit, missed it completely!
A very good point theanimalart... I will try and follow your instructions
On my count, taking into consideration a couple of people who posted are already on my list there are 7 'No room at the Holiday Inn' and 7 'Biggles – ELE' left.
Loving the jokes by the way, keep 'em coming.
Haha cheers for the explanation spirit, missed it completely! A very good point theanimalart... I will try and follow your instructions On my count, taking into consideration a couple of people who posted are already on my list there are 7 'No room at the Holiday Inn' and 7 'Biggles – ELE' left. Loving the jokes by the way, keep 'em coming.
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by Agent Provocateur on Dec 14, 2009 19:48:16 GMT 1, And just to make it more interesting I will pop something extra into a couple of the packages... just to keep you on your toes
And just to make it more interesting I will pop something extra into a couple of the packages... just to keep you on your toes
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Cornish Crayon
Junior Member
Posts • 3,965
Likes • 2,902
December 2007
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by Cornish Crayon on Dec 14, 2009 21:29:49 GMT 1, Has my wit gone over your head Mr AP dude
;D
Has my wit gone over your head Mr AP dude
;D
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Cornish Crayon
Junior Member
Posts • 3,965
Likes • 2,902
December 2007
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by Cornish Crayon on Dec 14, 2009 21:56:29 GMT 1, So do i need to tryeven harder
So do i need to tryeven harder
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love
Junior Member
Posts • 1,644
Likes • 389
October 2009
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by love on Dec 14, 2009 23:24:48 GMT 1, Hi Mr. AP, i think every German should get a bomber pigeon for christmas. I would really love to see that pigeon bomb hit my mail box.
Love&Peace for you and you're family.
love
Hi Mr. AP, i think every German should get a bomber pigeon for christmas. I would really love to see that pigeon bomb hit my mail box.
Love&Peace for you and you're family.
love
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ninja
New Member
Posts • 467
Likes • 18
August 2007
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by ninja on Dec 15, 2009 2:08:33 GMT 1, I just walked out of my job at the helium factory. There's no effin way I am being spoken to like that.
Believe it or not I sent that text to a few mates last Thursday and had two responses offering support and/or counselling.
Wouldn't mind the bomber pigeon card if there is one free.
I just walked out of my job at the helium factory. There's no effin way I am being spoken to like that.
Believe it or not I sent that text to a few mates last Thursday and had two responses offering support and/or counselling.
Wouldn't mind the bomber pigeon card if there is one free.
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Spreading sum Chrimbo cheer... free ltd ed cards, by Agent Provocateur on Dec 15, 2009 14:24:26 GMT 1, Me again... just finished spraying a couple of special packages, I'll mix these in with the normal ones
At the moment the list so far is:
No Room at the Holiday Inn - 1 topboy 2 doublehelix 3 ct 4 distinctivevision 5 slidingonthewalls 6 ricobenfico 7 carl1 8 theanimalart
Biggles – ELE - 1 A friend on flickr 2 macavity 3 plurker 4 jkw 5 klow 6 buffin 7 spirit 8 fuzzed 9 love 10 donaldo 11 pointblank
I will try and PM everyone today for their address... still a few left
AP
Me again... just finished spraying a couple of special packages, I'll mix these in with the normal ones At the moment the list so far is: No Room at the Holiday Inn - 1 topboy 2 doublehelix 3 ct 4 distinctivevision 5 slidingonthewalls 6 ricobenfico 7 carl1 8 theanimalart Biggles – ELE - 1 A friend on flickr2 macavity 3 plurker 4 jkw 5 klow 6 buffin 7 spirit 8 fuzzed 9 love 10 donaldo 11 pointblank I will try and PM everyone today for their address... still a few left AP
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