LOL..... agreed

£350 + £12 postage

Limited to 50

btw, for those that can't make sense of the letter, see below.

An easily Digestible Breakdown Of What To Expect From This Newsletter If You’re Pushed For Time Between Sword Fights:
Website information 10%
Print information 23%
Exhibition information 9%
Padding and general bullshit 64%

So the history books will show that in Feburary 2007, Black Rat Press burst on to the scene with a wild look in its eyes, firing street art guns into the pale winter sky like crazy Mexicans confused by the weather. They will show that we shouted declarations of world dominance and macho affirmations of love as we drank really, really strong coffee while slinky, hip-shot, young women –- strippers with part-time jobs at the local supermarket, mostly -- pressed themselves against our impressively muscular forearms. Arms built up by lugging and hefting the indestructible rocket launcher-like tubes your prints arrive in.

Then Blek Le Rat’s striking Shock and Awe print sold out in just over a week. Just over a week? We were incensed. No, more than that. We were incandescent with art fury! We jumped up, pushing the slinky, hip-shot, young women off our laps. (They went off and found other, newer laps, the laps of doctors and stockbrokers and vicars and whatnot, before settling down into quiet, respectable lives in the country with big cars, robust families, large plots of tilled land and a wistful yearning for clear Lucite heels.)

Fuelled by our massive intake of coffee we tracked down everyone in the art world who hadn’t bought a print. Luckily they were all in one spot, sitting by a large crystal clear lake eating soft cheeses and arguing about who was best, Banksy or Carravagio. We snuck up behind them pushed their heads underwater. Then we let them come up for air. Then we held their heads underwater again. Then, careful not to get our artwork wet, we towelled their heads dry and laid out the art in front of them, showing off the astonishing quality of our prints. Like the rich, almost impossible depth of Matt Small’s Saul, for example.

Then we were all like, You think you know art? You don’t know art.
And they were all like, Dude, you’ve totally mussed up our hair!
And we were all like, No, it looks cool.
And they were all like, Oh yeah.
And then they were like, Hey those prints are really good.
And we were all like, Whoa, coffee crash…

So, for a few idyllic minutes, we drowsed on the banks of the crystal lake, sunning ourselves and taking orders for large amounts of really, really good quality street art from the slightly damp and tufty-haired artworld cognescenti, before jetting back to London to process their orders and check that our wives and girlfriends, who we love very much, hadn’t found out about the slinky, hip-shot young women and set fire to our comic collections.
And they hadn’t.
This time…

Website
After a few teething problems our website is up and running. Kind of like that film Cool Runnings, really. The one where John Candy has to train a raggletaggle West Indian bob sleigh team who come good in the end despite having to practice in a bath. We had to practice in a bath, too. Just like them.

Print Information
We have new prints by Nick Walker and D*Face.
The D*Face is an etching that could only be made by utilising chemicals that have not been used for around two thousand or possibly twenty years. The chemicals were so dangerous the printers had to wear Mylar suits that made them look like paint-spattered astronauts, and old, craggy Italian masters came out from retirement just so they could see the proccess with their own eyes. Unfortunately, as we didn’t have any spare Mylar suits, they inhaled the fumes and promptly went blind. But when we described the print to the blind Italian masters they all agreed that this print was worth the cost of their sight. Who needs sight, anyway? They said. Then they thought about that a bit more and realised sight was probably one of God’s most beautiful gifts to mankind and immediately tried to kill us. But we fought off the angry, baying mob of blind Italian masters with our impressively built-up forearms, and ran, clutching the D*Face prints, back to the stone safety of our Battersea railway arches.
The print is a hand-coloured etching of his Iwo Jima reworking from the recent Death & Glory show on 400grm paper and looks so good we’re calling it art.
And we did all this for you. For your walls and for your children’s children’s walls. Because we are good people. Because we believe in art. And because we care. Yet we don’t want thanks. Well maybe just some rich, gooey, homemade cakes like the ones old people send in to the commentary team on Test Match Special. Yes, rich, gooey, homemade cakes, and possibly a few demonstrations of love on a Friday night, that kind of thanks is okay with us.

Eleven Exhibition
The Lenoard Street Gallery, 73A Leonard Street, London EC2A 4QS
9 March 2007 – 18 April 2007
In March eleven of the finest street art artists known to The Leonard Street Gallery (who get all their information from Wooster and articles by Brian Sewell in the Evening Standard) will be showcased for exactly a month and a bit.
These artists don’t just include but actually are…
Swoon
Shepard Fairy
Matt Small
Blek Le Rat
Eine
Aiko
D*Face
Judith Supine
WK Interact
Jim Houser
Elbowtoe
NB. Aiko will play in goal for the charity match against Tottenham Hotspur the following Saturday. Swoon will lead the nine-pronged attack and Eine will lag behind in defence. Tickets will be made available after the game has finished.
See you there.
NB. If you want to come along to the preview show on March 8th please email Sarah at The Leonard Street Gallery on sarah@tlsg.co.uk. If you haven’t heard from her after your fourth or fifth email, it’s because she’s scaling the drainpipe outside your bedroom window with a dagger between her teeth.

OTHER EXHIBITIONS…
FAILE – From Brooklyn With Love
Lazarides, 8 Greek St, Soho, London W1D 4DG
9 March 2007 – 7 April 2007
Everyone’s favourite New York wheatpaste collective, FAILE, are having their first solo exhibition at Lazarides. FAILE’s work is astonishing and just keeps getting better. For anyone familiar with their work this is a must-see show. For anyone unfamiliar with them, run don’t walk to the heart of swanky Soho.

Finally, We Have Our Own Moriarty…
It’s a well known fact that anyone who’s anyone needs a mortal foe. You can’t really say you’ve made it until you have your own evil mastermind plotting your demise. Sherlock Holmes had Moriarty, James Bond had Blofeld, Dr Who had half-man, half-Dalek, Davros, and now, finally, to prove our credentials, we have uncovered our own fiendish nemesis.
Please step forward, Cunty McChops.

Cunty McChops of, he states,s**t Lane, has been busy trying to bring our site down. On several occasions now he has mananged to temporarily wipe our stock numbers. On one occasion he did this at four in the morning. Leading us to believe that he can only fit one of the three possible police profiles…

a) The bitter, unemployable, angry loner with catfood stains down his string vest who can never get through to those latenight money quizzes on ITV

b) The sleep-starved new dad who’s baby won’t stop hollering and screaming and eating into the funds he’d set aside for quality street art.

c) A member of one of London’s many notorious street art gangs, stumbling in from tagging East London, tired, stoned, confused by the competition and laughing the mirthless laughter of the damned in his seventies swivel chair.

Well Mr McChops, we will not stand for your tomfoolery. (And neither, for that matter, will the rest of Shit Lane who’ve all been phoning all week to ask if all our prints really have sold out.) So if you are out there sir, and we’re sure you are, please be upstanding. Put down your fluffy white cat of evil villainy and make yourself known. We would very much like buy you a) a new clean string vest, b) a year’s supply of rusks, or c) a cup of camomile tea and stress-busting weekend retreat at a luxury spa of your choice.

In the meantime if anyone knows of a good opium den, please email us. You can’t have a nemesis without having a fancy, nostalgic addiction of some kind.
And if you don’t know of any opium dens laudanum will do.

Kind Regards
The Black Rat Press Ltd

are they referring to me? (para that I am!)
I am not Cunty McChops!

**quote BRP
b) The sleep-starved new dad who’s baby won’t stop hollering and screaming and eating into the funds he’d set aside for quality street art.
** end quote BRP

as per
banksyforum.proboards82.com/index.cgi?board=powlaz&action=display&thread=1172317170

PM me if you wanna sell! thx

Guys
Does anyone know how Black rat post out prints , i have just had order dispatch info so want to know when to expect it?

Cheers

Is there anyone, who could let me know the dimensions of the D-Face death and glory print, ed 50, as i would like to get one, but space is a premium in my house.

thanks.

i think its 58cmx58cm, but cant be sure as its at the framers atm

Thats why i love this place, thankyou all.

Love it. Art buying by the square cm.

SENT FLAT OR YOU CAN PICK UP IN LONDON

What the fuck happened to you Carlito ;D

(by the way, i'm much happier your friends now)

So true, nice print Jboy