New BlackRatPress Newsletter, by Tyler Durden on Apr 20, 2007 10:33:19 GMT 1, Brings promises, amongst other things, of a new D*Face print to come out in the foreseeable future.

So the fourth newsletter finally rolls into town, parched and haggard and chewing on the yellowy stub of sweat-drenched cigarillo as it stares down Lee C**ty Van Chops beneath the unseasonably bright and burning April sun.

C**ty is a bitter man. A man ravaged by greed, syphilis and art. When he started out, plying his trade of disruption and agent provocteuring, online art sites were easy pickings with a little or no protection. Their shopping baskets were basically just shacks standing alone in one horse towns with a teller and a single alarm to alert the sheriff. All that stood in his way were a few Wanted signs and the misplaced loyalty of a simpering milquetoast behind the window. But all that’s changed now. Time and technology have caught up with C**ty. Now our shopping baskets come equipped with devilish new inventions like trip wires, motion sensors, time-delay safes and the old world guns-for-hire know-how of of three indomintable IT guys wearing weathered and slightly musty smelling panchos. Beards smelling of matchstick sulphur.

In fact, only last week C**ty was still in the game, trying to buy up prints that weren’t there. Obsessively checking and re-checking our site, refreshing and re-refreshing the D*Face pages. All day, everyday. Sometimes even more often that that. He was a man driven by desperation, hard liquor and the promise of a ten per cent profit on eBay. And finally he broke in and succeeded in buying a few phantom prints and pushing our stock into the minus numbers, laughing gruffly and twitching controllably from from the Tijuana syphilis eating away at his brain. But already that issue has been resolved by our pancho-wearing IT guys and now C**ty is left with memories, Old Testament hangovers, feverish night terrors and a saddlebag full of more Zeus prints than he knows what to do with. He is broken and wretched and spends his days in the town square, slumped against the well, slurring wild threats of vengeance and making the odd, wet, wolf-whistle at a passing horse.

But enough of that. We have so much to tell you. More than you need to know and, we guarantee you, much much more than you’ll ever want to know.

Print News

Matt Small: Ahmed

This print is a beauty. It’s another 19 Colour screenprint with two varnishes but this time measures twice the size of the Saul print. It’s also a smaller print run so instead of impressing your friends with the line, “There are only 165 of these in the world,” which, let’s face it, seems a bit random, you can now say “There are only 100 of these in the world,” which sounds a lot more zingy.

Logan Hicks Print

This print looks amazing and may or may not have a name and measurements. That would involve research on my part and that’s just not going to happen. What I can tell you is it’s already to go and is just waiting for Logan to fly over from wherever he lives to sign them with a pencil. Providing, of course, I can find a pencil or track down the nearest pencil emporium. So they may be released early in or around May. But they may not.

Peter Kennard and Cat Philips

We’re now working with Peter and Cat on a series of prints. Some of the images have been seen before as digital prints, but that edition has now been stopped dead in its tracks -- by Mike standing in front of them (the prints) with his palm out, blowing a whistle. It’s a formidable sight. The prints had little choice but to slink off, roll up and take solace somewhere dark. So now we’re taking them over (the prints) and giving them the Black Rat treatment. Ie., we’re going to break into our printer’s house, spike his tea with methamphetamine sulphate and set him loose on 20-colour screenprint versions over a frenzied period of activity and heart palpitations while his wife and kids sit at home, waiting for him to remember their birthdays.

D*Face

There will also be a new D*Face print coming out in the next few weeks. But we’re sure no one’s too interested in that. There wasn’t much demand for Cli-Che. It sold sluggishly, taking almost 3 minutes to sell out.

Exhibitionism

Matt Small show for Novas, 68 Parkway, Camden Town, London NW1 7AH.

Here we’re basically going to paraphrase the Novas press release because it contains actual information, conveyed in a concise and lucid manner – which we’re not very good at.

It says here:

Matt Small will be doing a show of urban landscape paintings for the charity, Novas. If you would like to attend the preview please contact Darren.Asamoa@novas.org with your name and how many people you intend to bring (no invite needed just so they can work out numbers) - put BLACKRATPRESS/MATT SMALL in the subject of the email. (This is because if you put FREE HERBAL VIAGRA in the subject line it will just confuse them.)

Novas Arts are an organisation that exhibits art reflecting society and issues of homelessness and social exclusion. Matt’s exhibition reflects issues of urban decay and the ‘underexposed.’ Matt is currently working out of the Novas owned Arlington House, which is the largest homeless hostel in Europe. His work will use reclaimed materials from this historic landmark. (Yeah and I bet he nicks their milk, too. And leaves the top off the Marmite.)

100% of all profits go into homelessness and social exclusion initiatives.

Slinkachu

The Slinkster will be doing a Little People exhibition in Urbis in trendy Manchester. Well, it was trendy. Back in 1988. I guess you might still see Sean Ryder huddled into his Parker, talking to himself at the bus-stop.


Oh and…

We are also planning a four day Black Rat art weekend extravaganza in September. The exhibition will include lots of events, surprise artists (and possibly surprised artists if any of the days start before 2pm), new prints, originals, a chance to meet the printers and ask all the questions we don’t know the answers to (providing, of course, they’ve got their speed addiction and heart tremors under control and are in any way intelligible). More details will be leaked out slowly via this whole newsletter type thing.

Now, bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia…