Never be surprised when someone close to you ****s you over one way or another.

Never lend money to friends or family, if you do treat it as a gift to them (without saying so much) and be pleasantly surprised if you ever get it back.

If you're doing some home diy etc, move everything of value well away from where you're working because I swear to god if it's important or fragile in any way what-so-ever you WILL accidentally smash it into a million pieces.....get it the hell away from you!

NEVER kiss your mates girlfriend however fit or keen she is to try your meagre undeserving lips......even if he says's it's OK.....just don't to it for Christ sake!....if you do do it, then whatever you do don't repeat it soon after, especially if he's watching......it's not ok.

If like me, you like to keep things in an as new(ish) condition then never lend a living soul one of your books.

Never recommend a restaurant, (**** it, don't recommend anything) you'll get blamed if the recommended disappoint.

Don't palm it off when someone older than you says ''enjoy your youth'' or ''the years fly by so make the most of them'' and all of that seemingly boring, pointless crap. Take note and act upon your notes because these words are true......too true.

Thanks for the advice. Words to live by. I'll try to remember those.

I'll be thinking about it as I go eat some of this tasty tomato soup in my bed... shoot I ALMOST FORGOT ALREADY!!!

Scratch that I'll have vegetarian vegetable instead.

Thanks again!

Never have some special 'me' time with your eyes closed and your earphones turned up to ten. The embarrassment inflicted by that steaming hot cup off tea that has appeared on your sideboard before you've finished will haunt you forever one you've realised how it got there.

Blimey fingerz, is that how you done it?

I had a colleague who done exactly the same thing with a band saw. Lost concentration for a second and bang, goodbye four fingers.