artmanic1234
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March 2012
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My girlfriend , by artmanic1234 on Jul 27, 2012 0:04:07 GMT 1, Is pregnad i do everything i can to make her happy i really do mice to her family put fopd on table treat her like a princess last 6 weeks shes never happy shes stopped cuddling me the odd kiss think im having a breakdown dont really know what to do with myself never ever relt like this i tell her and goes okay thats it recently i say something she doesnt even answer me back then i repeat it and she goes i nddee my head didnt i i been trying so hard but cant handle this anymore i know this is a for sale thread but im sitting up every night feeling so sad and down i know its hormones but surley there not this bad so unloving and not nice to be round she lives with me i do everything for her and get hardly anything back spoil her rotten seems like she doesnt appriate me anymore its driving me nuts
Is pregnad i do everything i can to make her happy i really do mice to her family put fopd on table treat her like a princess last 6 weeks shes never happy shes stopped cuddling me the odd kiss think im having a breakdown dont really know what to do with myself never ever relt like this i tell her and goes okay thats it recently i say something she doesnt even answer me back then i repeat it and she goes i nddee my head didnt i i been trying so hard but cant handle this anymore i know this is a for sale thread but im sitting up every night feeling so sad and down i know its hormones but surley there not this bad so unloving and not nice to be round she lives with me i do everything for her and get hardly anything back spoil her rotten seems like she doesnt appriate me anymore its driving me nuts
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Zippy
Junior Member
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April 2006
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My girlfriend , by Zippy on Jul 27, 2012 0:08:48 GMT 1, If your looking for sale offers or a 'trade' you haven't described it very well!
But seriously Calum you need to hang in there mate as this little person will be coming into the world soon and needs his dad just as much as his mum.
No man on here can answer your questions as we don't understand women. But her hormones are all over the place and hopefully she can tell you if you said something daft (which you are capable of!!) and you can work it out. Be strong, be supportive and I hope you get it resolved.
Good luck.
Signed.... All men!
If your looking for sale offers or a 'trade' you haven't described it very well!
But seriously Calum you need to hang in there mate as this little person will be coming into the world soon and needs his dad just as much as his mum.
No man on here can answer your questions as we don't understand women. But her hormones are all over the place and hopefully she can tell you if you said something daft (which you are capable of!!) and you can work it out. Be strong, be supportive and I hope you get it resolved.
Good luck.
Signed.... All men!
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artmanic1234
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Posts โข 675
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March 2012
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My girlfriend , by artmanic1234 on Jul 27, 2012 0:12:37 GMT 1, Cheers mate its killing me i cant handle it very much anymore go to work all day get home cook tea wash up shes been up her doing nothing all day which i am cool about shes pregnad dont get a thanks went to cuddle her tonight she pushed me off said she doesnt like cuddles anymore its not just today its every single day doesnt hardly talk i know im anoyying but im soooo good to her she just doesnt see it the massive proplem i have im starting to hate myself so much and life i cant handle this thanks thou just i dont know what to do with myself got to be up at 5,30for work got a 12 hour day not enjoying life at the mo
Cheers mate its killing me i cant handle it very much anymore go to work all day get home cook tea wash up shes been up her doing nothing all day which i am cool about shes pregnad dont get a thanks went to cuddle her tonight she pushed me off said she doesnt like cuddles anymore its not just today its every single day doesnt hardly talk i know im anoyying but im soooo good to her she just doesnt see it the massive proplem i have im starting to hate myself so much and life i cant handle this thanks thou just i dont know what to do with myself got to be up at 5,30for work got a 12 hour day not enjoying life at the mo
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My girlfriend , by Coach on Jul 27, 2012 0:14:27 GMT 1, Sure it's just a phase of the pregnancy - hang in there. Be there for her. Clearly a caring man - expect you will make a great Dad - it's the most rewarding thing out there. Good luck my freind.
Sure it's just a phase of the pregnancy - hang in there. Be there for her. Clearly a caring man - expect you will make a great Dad - it's the most rewarding thing out there. Good luck my freind.
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Zippy
Junior Member
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April 2006
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My girlfriend , by Zippy on Jul 27, 2012 0:18:17 GMT 1, I feel what you are saying but you are not the first (or last) to feel this way. You need to talk to her away from everyone else and tell her how you feel. You ain't going to get any sympathy but you will put the tnought in her mind and over the next few days she will hopefully come round a bit.
It's the next chapter of your life and the bigger the kids get, the bigger the problems.
I won't post anymore on here but feel free to pm / email or call me if you want someone to talk to. I don't have the answers but ive 3 kids and have some life experience.
Don't blame yourself.
I feel what you are saying but you are not the first (or last) to feel this way. You need to talk to her away from everyone else and tell her how you feel. You ain't going to get any sympathy but you will put the tnought in her mind and over the next few days she will hopefully come round a bit.
It's the next chapter of your life and the bigger the kids get, the bigger the problems.
I won't post anymore on here but feel free to pm / email or call me if you want someone to talk to. I don't have the answers but ive 3 kids and have some life experience.
Don't blame yourself.
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artmanic1234
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Posts โข 675
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March 2012
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My girlfriend , by artmanic1234 on Jul 27, 2012 0:18:26 GMT 1, I am there for her all time cant handle it anymore feel sick feel sad cant handle life anymore had enough
I am there for her all time cant handle it anymore feel sick feel sad cant handle life anymore had enough
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My girlfriend , by Coach on Jul 27, 2012 0:19:02 GMT 1, Also - suggest you have a chat with your gp about how you are feeling - sure he/she will be able to give some great advice
Also - suggest you have a chat with your gp about how you are feeling - sure he/she will be able to give some great advice
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artmanic1234
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Posts โข 675
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March 2012
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My girlfriend , by artmanic1234 on Jul 27, 2012 0:20:36 GMT 1, I try to talk to her shes sooo stubbon shes only 18 feel like now shes pregnad she dont want nothing to do with i tryed soo many times cheers zippy and coach im going try sleep need to sort my head out thanks guys nighht
I try to talk to her shes sooo stubbon shes only 18 feel like now shes pregnad she dont want nothing to do with i tryed soo many times cheers zippy and coach im going try sleep need to sort my head out thanks guys nighht
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Zippy
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April 2006
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My girlfriend , by Zippy on Jul 27, 2012 0:23:57 GMT 1, I am there for her all time cant handle it anymore feel sick feel sad cant handle life anymore had enough
Think of the little guy / girl. They don't want to hear that there dad is being so defeatist and giving up. They need to know you will always be there for them.
Get some sleep and let's chat tomorrow.
Nothing stupid now. Go to bed.
I am there for her all time cant handle it anymore feel sick feel sad cant handle life anymore had enough Think of the little guy / girl. They don't want to hear that there dad is being so defeatist and giving up. They need to know you will always be there for them. Get some sleep and let's chat tomorrow. Nothing stupid now. Go to bed.
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My girlfriend , by Coach on Jul 27, 2012 0:25:08 GMT 1, I try to talk to her shes sooo stubbon shes only 18 feel like now shes pregnad she dont want nothing to do with i tryed soo many times cheers zippy and coach im going try sleep need to sort my head out thanks guys nighht
PM if you want to talk.
I try to talk to her shes sooo stubbon shes only 18 feel like now shes pregnad she dont want nothing to do with i tryed soo many times cheers zippy and coach im going try sleep need to sort my head out thanks guys nighht PM if you want to talk.
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artmanic1234
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Posts โข 675
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March 2012
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My girlfriend , by artmanic1234 on Jul 27, 2012 0:26:39 GMT 1, Cheers guys i wont do nothing stupid not that selfish but i am on a all time low at mo cant believe women!! Al shall i say girls!!!!
Cheers guys i wont do nothing stupid not that selfish but i am on a all time low at mo cant believe women!! Al shall i say girls!!!!
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Zippy
Junior Member
Posts โข 6,773
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April 2006
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My girlfriend , by Zippy on Jul 27, 2012 0:29:38 GMT 1, You're not alone there <50% off forum nod head in agreement>
:-)
You're not alone there <50% off forum nod head in agreement>
:-)
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tomega
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October 2007
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My girlfriend , by tomega on Jul 27, 2012 1:26:13 GMT 1, Dear artmanic1234 what you are saying takes me back 9yrs ago when my wife was pregnant with our fantastic daughter. Its a carbon copy situation, she couldn't stand me, said she hated me, and I did loads for her as well. At the very begining I could feel myself getting para about it all but then common sense kicked in. I wasn't the one with my hormones all over the shop, likewise (as I found out later) I wasn't worrying about the future (how the birth will go, can we look after the baby, he [me] hasn't got a good job etc) but she was worrying about all of these things. In truth I wasn't worrying about anything cos everything seemed rosy in my world - I was going to be a father, wow, doesn't get any better than that. Now here we are 9yrs later, still together and with a most fantastical daughter who I get to see every single day and I am so happy about that. My wife still claims she doesn't like me but secretly I think she does. She is obsessed with giving me lists of things to do and never lets me sit still for 5 mins. She moans and shouts at me constantly and of course I am to blame for everything that goes wrong. To be honest I could go on and on and ........ but don't want to bore you. However, when I speak to mates or work colleagues it seems they are living the same life. What I am trying to say is we all have our ups and downs and we have to work through them. Even though you do loads for her and can't understand why she appears to be so distant afraid there is nothing else to do but give her more space (don't crowd her) and lets see what happens after the baby arrives. Not saying it will be all roses even then but it might be (hopefully) and thats the thing, best to get to that point rather than let things get to you now and end-up walking away. It's clearly getting to you otherwise you wouldn't have posted on such a public platform. You two are clearly much younger than my wife and I were when we had our child and being older probably helped us deal with any probs. Take it from someone older (not necessarily wiser) that you need to take a step back and not think too much about the 'Why isn't she cuddling / holding / getting close to me like she used to?' aspect of things. Hopefully all will be okay - hope so cos I rarely post and your message prompted me to do so. Right I'm off now, might see you (post) again in a couple of years time.
Dear artmanic1234 what you are saying takes me back 9yrs ago when my wife was pregnant with our fantastic daughter. Its a carbon copy situation, she couldn't stand me, said she hated me, and I did loads for her as well. At the very begining I could feel myself getting para about it all but then common sense kicked in. I wasn't the one with my hormones all over the shop, likewise (as I found out later) I wasn't worrying about the future (how the birth will go, can we look after the baby, he [me] hasn't got a good job etc) but she was worrying about all of these things. In truth I wasn't worrying about anything cos everything seemed rosy in my world - I was going to be a father, wow, doesn't get any better than that. Now here we are 9yrs later, still together and with a most fantastical daughter who I get to see every single day and I am so happy about that. My wife still claims she doesn't like me but secretly I think she does. She is obsessed with giving me lists of things to do and never lets me sit still for 5 mins. She moans and shouts at me constantly and of course I am to blame for everything that goes wrong. To be honest I could go on and on and ........ but don't want to bore you. However, when I speak to mates or work colleagues it seems they are living the same life. What I am trying to say is we all have our ups and downs and we have to work through them. Even though you do loads for her and can't understand why she appears to be so distant afraid there is nothing else to do but give her more space (don't crowd her) and lets see what happens after the baby arrives. Not saying it will be all roses even then but it might be (hopefully) and thats the thing, best to get to that point rather than let things get to you now and end-up walking away. It's clearly getting to you otherwise you wouldn't have posted on such a public platform. You two are clearly much younger than my wife and I were when we had our child and being older probably helped us deal with any probs. Take it from someone older (not necessarily wiser) that you need to take a step back and not think too much about the 'Why isn't she cuddling / holding / getting close to me like she used to?' aspect of things. Hopefully all will be okay - hope so cos I rarely post and your message prompted me to do so. Right I'm off now, might see you (post) again in a couple of years time.
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My girlfriend , by Coach on Jul 27, 2012 1:42:51 GMT 1, You should post more. Nuff said. +1. What he said, so much more elagantly than I did.
You should post more. Nuff said. +1. What he said, so much more elagantly than I did.
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craigf
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May 2007
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My girlfriend , by craigf on Jul 27, 2012 7:29:23 GMT 1, There's a lot of good advice on here Callum. Stereotyping I know but woman tend to think much more deeply about things than us men. Getting the balance right re support and space is a difficult one, can't say I am a good example of someone who managed this. My only additional piece of advice is don't over think this or build up all the things you do for her to a point it makes you frustrated and angry. All sorts of crap is going on in her body, just be there for her, don't go off the rails and count to 10 before reacting
There's a lot of good advice on here Callum. Stereotyping I know but woman tend to think much more deeply about things than us men. Getting the balance right re support and space is a difficult one, can't say I am a good example of someone who managed this. My only additional piece of advice is don't over think this or build up all the things you do for her to a point it makes you frustrated and angry. All sorts of crap is going on in her body, just be there for her, don't go off the rails and count to 10 before reacting
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My girlfriend , by Mister Frame Man on Jul 27, 2012 7:29:53 GMT 1, Great to see the positive side this place can have.......+1 Zippy & all for your good work.
Some things are much more important than art.
Good luck artmaniac
Great to see the positive side this place can have.......+1 Zippy & all for your good work.
Some things are much more important than art.
Good luck artmaniac
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Dr Plip
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August 2011
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My girlfriend , by Dr Plip on Jul 27, 2012 7:58:24 GMT 1, You're not alone. Some days I feel like one of those flies constantly smacking themselves against a bakery window.
You're not alone. Some days I feel like one of those flies constantly smacking themselves against a bakery window.
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My girlfriend , by artfuldodgers on Jul 27, 2012 8:00:35 GMT 1, If the moods wrong, the nicer you are, the worse it gets. Sometimes you just need to back off, give her some space and tell her your there if she needs you, the more you try to force a situation, quite often, the worse it gets..
Give her some space and....YOURSELF MATE!
If the moods wrong, the nicer you are, the worse it gets. Sometimes you just need to back off, give her some space and tell her your there if she needs you, the more you try to force a situation, quite often, the worse it gets..
Give her some space and....YOURSELF MATE!
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My girlfriend , by fingerz on Jul 27, 2012 8:21:39 GMT 1, god i remember them days , difficult to get through Calum but you will get through it , just remember it's NOT your fault or hers it's them bloody hormones , what ever you do or say will be wrong in her eye's because of the hormones , just got to ride it out Calum ..... once the baby's born it'll all be cool and the gang .... pm me whenever you like
or lock her in the down stairs cupboard till its ready to come out
god i remember them days , difficult to get through Calum but you will get through it , just remember it's NOT your fault or hers it's them bloody hormones , what ever you do or say will be wrong in her eye's because of the hormones , just got to ride it out Calum ..... once the baby's born it'll all be cool and the gang .... pm me whenever you like
or lock her in the down stairs cupboard till its ready to come out
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paoe
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Posts โข 194
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December 2011
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My girlfriend , by paoe on Jul 27, 2012 8:24:20 GMT 1, It's tough, it's very tough but it will get soo much better very soon.
Pm an address and i will send you an AP I've had lying around for a while.
It's tough, it's very tough but it will get soo much better very soon.
Pm an address and i will send you an AP I've had lying around for a while.
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Hubble Bubble
Junior Member
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December 2010
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My girlfriend , by Hubble Bubble on Jul 27, 2012 8:29:15 GMT 1, Stick at it artmaniac. In tough times, communication is always key. Speak with each other - and I mean, REALLY speak. Find out what's at the heart of her problem and explain your feelings. It will bring you closer rather than push you apart. It's also a good practice for when the baby arrives and the two of you will need to do a lot of talking! Good luck mate.
Stick at it artmaniac. In tough times, communication is always key. Speak with each other - and I mean, REALLY speak. Find out what's at the heart of her problem and explain your feelings. It will bring you closer rather than push you apart. It's also a good practice for when the baby arrives and the two of you will need to do a lot of talking! Good luck mate.
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klyde
Junior Member
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May 2007
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My girlfriend , by klyde on Jul 27, 2012 8:32:20 GMT 1,
Get yourself a hooker.
Get yourself a hooker.
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elwheel
Junior Member
Posts โข 1,912
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September 2008
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My girlfriend , by elwheel on Jul 27, 2012 8:36:42 GMT 1, All good advice on here Calum. The hormonal imbalance, tiredness, fear and worry will manifest themselves in intolerance and sometimes hatred of the other half. Been through it myself when my wife was pregnant with our daughter. As said before, give her and yourself space. There are happy days around the corner.
All good advice on here Calum. The hormonal imbalance, tiredness, fear and worry will manifest themselves in intolerance and sometimes hatred of the other half. Been through it myself when my wife was pregnant with our daughter. As said before, give her and yourself space. There are happy days around the corner.
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fairplay1974
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Posts โข 735
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June 2011
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My girlfriend , by fairplay1974 on Jul 27, 2012 8:44:02 GMT 1, I don't have kids, but have seen friends go through similar to what you're experiencing Calum when their wives were pregnant....They've come out the other end wearing big smiles and with a great family.
Some really good advice and reach outs to you on here as well, from guys that have been through similar themselves and who have far more personal experience in this area than me. Take them up on their offers if you're feeling really low, a problem discussed suddenly makes you realise you're not alone and not the only person to ever have experienced it.
As the others have said as well, the corners coming and things will get better.
I don't have kids, but have seen friends go through similar to what you're experiencing Calum when their wives were pregnant....They've come out the other end wearing big smiles and with a great family.
Some really good advice and reach outs to you on here as well, from guys that have been through similar themselves and who have far more personal experience in this area than me. Take them up on their offers if you're feeling really low, a problem discussed suddenly makes you realise you're not alone and not the only person to ever have experienced it.
As the others have said as well, the corners coming and things will get better.
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confused2
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Posts โข 463
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April 2008
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My girlfriend , by confused2 on Jul 27, 2012 8:54:47 GMT 1, Hang on in there mate.
During the past 6 months my fiancรยฉ has wanted to break up numerous times cause I've not given her enough attention, despite the fact I've done nothing but (especially since she went on maternity leave). As much as I like an argument, I've bitten my tongue and left the room or house as its hormones talking. They'll tell you at your ante natal classes to expect a shift in priorities, as your partner turns her full attention to herself and your baby. But that will change once things settle down.
My partner is 10 years younger than me, we got together 7.5 years ago when she was 18 so I know how a young(ish) woman can think. The first 3 years of our relationship were full of insecurities and reassurance so i know how frustrating it can be. But if you can tough it out, and you will, just think how good it can be.
I'm now sat in the induction ward at my local hospital and have been here for coming on 3 days waiting for our daughter to make an appearance. I know the support is appreciated, and I don't need her to tell me. It's what's not said that seems to matter most at the moment.
Good luck mate
Hang on in there mate.
During the past 6 months my fiancรยฉ has wanted to break up numerous times cause I've not given her enough attention, despite the fact I've done nothing but (especially since she went on maternity leave). As much as I like an argument, I've bitten my tongue and left the room or house as its hormones talking. They'll tell you at your ante natal classes to expect a shift in priorities, as your partner turns her full attention to herself and your baby. But that will change once things settle down.
My partner is 10 years younger than me, we got together 7.5 years ago when she was 18 so I know how a young(ish) woman can think. The first 3 years of our relationship were full of insecurities and reassurance so i know how frustrating it can be. But if you can tough it out, and you will, just think how good it can be.
I'm now sat in the induction ward at my local hospital and have been here for coming on 3 days waiting for our daughter to make an appearance. I know the support is appreciated, and I don't need her to tell me. It's what's not said that seems to matter most at the moment.
Good luck mate
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jaimesl
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Posts โข 583
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October 2007
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My girlfriend , by jaimesl on Jul 27, 2012 10:12:29 GMT 1, Kia Kaha mate - some good advice on here.
Sounds like she's struggling with things too - 18 and preggers is tough!
Give her a bit of space but make sure she knows you are there if she needs it.
It's all part of the journey - but I can honestly say that the tough times (and there are a shit load of them ahead) and infinitely outweighed by all the rest of it.
Kids rock - you're going to love it!
Kia Kaha mate - some good advice on here.
Sounds like she's struggling with things too - 18 and preggers is tough!
Give her a bit of space but make sure she knows you are there if she needs it.
It's all part of the journey - but I can honestly say that the tough times (and there are a shit load of them ahead) and infinitely outweighed by all the rest of it.
Kids rock - you're going to love it!
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My girlfriend , by xmyart on Jul 27, 2012 10:13:49 GMT 1, Hang tough Callum. It will be a hard ride! The light at the end of the tunnel is your little baby. Once it arrives things will settle and change again for you.
See it as a test mate, bringing up a kid isnt going to be easy. But after the pregnancy, it may seem a whole lot easier to deal with!! Its just nature challenging your ability to stick around in the hard times.
Youll be fine dude, just ride it out. If it is getting to much, as zippy said, get off to the GP and talk it through with them.
Hang tough Callum. It will be a hard ride! The light at the end of the tunnel is your little baby. Once it arrives things will settle and change again for you.
See it as a test mate, bringing up a kid isnt going to be easy. But after the pregnancy, it may seem a whole lot easier to deal with!! Its just nature challenging your ability to stick around in the hard times.
Youll be fine dude, just ride it out. If it is getting to much, as zippy said, get off to the GP and talk it through with them.
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sneakerfreak
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Posts โข 205
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January 2011
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My girlfriend , by sneakerfreak on Jul 27, 2012 11:44:13 GMT 1, Hang tough Callum. It will be a hard ride! The light at the end of the tunnel is your little baby. Once it arrives things will settle and change again for you. See it as a test mate, bringing up a kid isnt going to be easy. But after the pregnancy, it may seem a whole lot easier to deal with!! Its just nature challenging your ability to stick around in the hard times. Youll be fine dude, just ride it out. If it is getting to much, as zippy said, get off to the GP and talk it through with them. +1 - good and sound advice. Bringing up children is both the most challenging and rewarding thing you can do. Hang-in there - fear, uncertaintly and insecurity are all wrapped in a hormonal blanket at the moment ...
Hang tough Callum. It will be a hard ride! The light at the end of the tunnel is your little baby. Once it arrives things will settle and change again for you. See it as a test mate, bringing up a kid isnt going to be easy. But after the pregnancy, it may seem a whole lot easier to deal with!! Its just nature challenging your ability to stick around in the hard times. Youll be fine dude, just ride it out. If it is getting to much, as zippy said, get off to the GP and talk it through with them. +1 - good and sound advice. Bringing up children is both the most challenging and rewarding thing you can do. Hang-in there - fear, uncertaintly and insecurity are all wrapped in a hormonal blanket at the moment ...
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My girlfriend , by searchandrescue on Jul 27, 2012 14:15:17 GMT 1, Sounds like some good advice, but first if your feeling s**t I'd advise talking things through with your GP. They can direct you to some professional help with what your going through at the moment. Often we are scared to go to the doctor for fear of being labelled as having "Mental Health Issues" [ uses fingers to make inverted commas sign]! If you sprained your ankle and the doc offered to bandage it you'd say "Great, thanks" - if your suffering mentally you shouldn't write off getting help from them. Its probably not going to do you any harm to make an appointment with your GP. If you can, try to raise the issue of your feelings, you can also get a quick checkup as well which is no bad thing.
Best of luck and I'm sure things will sort themselves out in the end but like most things in life it's good to try and be proactive rather than waiting till you have a problem.
Sounds like some good advice, but first if your feeling s**t I'd advise talking things through with your GP. They can direct you to some professional help with what your going through at the moment. Often we are scared to go to the doctor for fear of being labelled as having "Mental Health Issues" [ uses fingers to make inverted commas sign]! If you sprained your ankle and the doc offered to bandage it you'd say "Great, thanks" - if your suffering mentally you shouldn't write off getting help from them. Its probably not going to do you any harm to make an appointment with your GP. If you can, try to raise the issue of your feelings, you can also get a quick checkup as well which is no bad thing.
Best of luck and I'm sure things will sort themselves out in the end but like most things in life it's good to try and be proactive rather than waiting till you have a problem.
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