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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by wizzy on Nov 11, 2010 18:31:37 GMT 1, Mrfrank, When you say "There is no girl" i know what that means. One way of doing what you want is to capture and hide all of her family in a lock up somewhere, nothing bad but just temporary until the result, she will of course be distraught and will come to you for help, if you could just refrain from giggling for two weeks or so and then spring the family she will love you forever, dont forget to feed the family interim of course and wear a diguise when doing so. I think there is a quicker way with medication but i dont condone that and its very naughty. As for snogging in public, i agree thats just wrong and the sight of it makes me vomit, seeing as i live on Kissers corner im sick quite a lot really.
Try some seasoning salt in it.
Mrfrank, When you say "There is no girl" i know what that means. One way of doing what you want is to capture and hide all of her family in a lock up somewhere, nothing bad but just temporary until the result, she will of course be distraught and will come to you for help, if you could just refrain from giggling for two weeks or so and then spring the family she will love you forever, dont forget to feed the family interim of course and wear a diguise when doing so. I think there is a quicker way with medication but i dont condone that and its very naughty. As for snogging in public, i agree thats just wrong and the sight of it makes me vomit, seeing as i live on Kissers corner im sick quite a lot really.
Try some seasoning salt in it.
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JD
Junior Member
๐จ๏ธ 1,756
๐๐ป 706
June 2007
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by JD on Nov 11, 2010 19:03:26 GMT 1, JD, dont get pushy!, here is Brian Einsteins theory for picture hanging, Picture + Nail - Landlord + hammer = result. You could also try the minimal look. Brylcreem.
WIZZ Im desperate thats why i seem pushy.At the moment im floating half naked in an east end playround waiting for GQ Adam Neate interview to inflate my price and im freezing !
JD, dont get pushy!, here is Brian Einsteins theory for picture hanging, Picture + Nail - Landlord + hammer = result. You could also try the minimal look. Brylcreem. WIZZ Im desperate thats why i seem pushy.At the moment im floating half naked in an east end playround waiting for GQ Adam Neate interview to inflate my price and im freezing ! |
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by wizzy on Nov 11, 2010 19:48:18 GMT 1, JD. I know you are, i can just about see you in the dark with these special binoculars for special people. I have had a word with your Landlords telepathically and they say you must feel free to hammer away at will, i assume they were talkng about the picture hanging but who knows?. Adam was not free to comment as he was busy getting cardboard boxes from Tescos and a felt tip pen from Costcutter as they have a special on, a sorcerer close to him though says please wear more clothes when flaunting about in the dark, esp as it gets a bit nippy on the common.
Nail it.
JD. I know you are, i can just about see you in the dark with these special binoculars for special people. I have had a word with your Landlords telepathically and they say you must feel free to hammer away at will, i assume they were talkng about the picture hanging but who knows?. Adam was not free to comment as he was busy getting cardboard boxes from Tescos and a felt tip pen from Costcutter as they have a special on, a sorcerer close to him though says please wear more clothes when flaunting about in the dark, esp as it gets a bit nippy on the common.
Nail it.
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by boaty on Nov 11, 2010 19:49:54 GMT 1, Dear MR. Wizbong, you offered such great advice on my last query - figured I'd come back for seconds. My sibling called from his college dorm room for advice on how to avoid getting a hangover. I responded that's simple if you stay drunk you won't get a hangover. Being in college and all I thought he would have known I was joking. But he took my advice and as you can imagine his grades have fallen as a direct result. What's the right answer?
Dear MR. Wizbong, you offered such great advice on my last query - figured I'd come back for seconds. My sibling called from his college dorm room for advice on how to avoid getting a hangover. I responded that's simple if you stay drunk you won't get a hangover. Being in college and all I thought he would have known I was joking. But he took my advice and as you can imagine his grades have fallen as a direct result. What's the right answer?
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by wizzy on Nov 11, 2010 19:58:45 GMT 1, Boaty. He should immediately be looking to blackmail the Teachers, this is his only course of action. He could try the old laxative in the morning coffee trick nipping into the staff room early morning and dropping a double dose in there, an hour later when all the staff are running for the toilets he nips back into the staff room planting nude photographs of himself in the pockets of all the teachers with ' From ***** to Mr or Mrs ****' these are placed in the wrong pockets, none of the staff will say anything as they will think its them but they will however be curious to ask him who the photo was intended for, he can then bring the "Favours" into operation and demand a full grade A pass for any info given. It would of course be quicker to remain drunk all of his life thereby negating the need for any type of career.
Get out more.
Boaty. He should immediately be looking to blackmail the Teachers, this is his only course of action. He could try the old laxative in the morning coffee trick nipping into the staff room early morning and dropping a double dose in there, an hour later when all the staff are running for the toilets he nips back into the staff room planting nude photographs of himself in the pockets of all the teachers with ' From ***** to Mr or Mrs ****' these are placed in the wrong pockets, none of the staff will say anything as they will think its them but they will however be curious to ask him who the photo was intended for, he can then bring the "Favours" into operation and demand a full grade A pass for any info given. It would of course be quicker to remain drunk all of his life thereby negating the need for any type of career.
Get out more.
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Bram
Artist
Junior Member
๐จ๏ธ 2,820
๐๐ป 296
November 2007
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by Bram on Nov 11, 2010 21:20:52 GMT 1, Conjoined twins,
1) would it be bigamy?
2) could I class it as a threesome?
3) is it worth the hassle?
I'm asking on behalf of a friend you understand.
Conjoined twins,
1) would it be bigamy?
2) could I class it as a threesome?
3) is it worth the hassle?
I'm asking on behalf of a friend you understand.
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redneck
New Member
๐จ๏ธ 180
๐๐ป 183
July 2010
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by redneck on Nov 11, 2010 21:45:16 GMT 1, Re conjoined twins
1) No nor clever
2) depends where their joined
3) OH YES ;D
Re conjoined twins
1) No nor clever
2) depends where their joined
3) OH YES ;D
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by wizzy on Nov 11, 2010 22:03:28 GMT 1, I understand Bram. Of course the easy answer is Yes to all three parts of the question, however! are we talking about Humans here? if so then still yes but if not then thats another matter entirely and you of all people should know in that situation after the last episode!, i still have nightmares about Octopus and Donkeys. I would also let Mrs. Bram know what you are planning so she can maybe have a night out with the girls at Bingo or similar ladies pastimes?.
Do it.
I understand Bram. Of course the easy answer is Yes to all three parts of the question, however! are we talking about Humans here? if so then still yes but if not then thats another matter entirely and you of all people should know in that situation after the last episode!, i still have nightmares about Octopus and Donkeys. I would also let Mrs. Bram know what you are planning so she can maybe have a night out with the girls at Bingo or similar ladies pastimes?.
Do it.
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by rosstierney on Nov 12, 2010 0:16:51 GMT 1, will there ever be a boy born that can swim as fast as a shark...??
I can swim faster than Daniel Lahoda...
will there ever be a boy born that can swim as fast as a shark...?? I can swim faster than Daniel Lahoda... |
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by wizzy on Nov 12, 2010 0:31:39 GMT 1, This is true.
Word.
This is true.
Word.
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Sacked...
Full Member
๐จ๏ธ 7,978
๐๐ป 1,338
October 2007
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by Sacked... on Nov 12, 2010 0:57:03 GMT 1, Wizzemcphee,how can we get Anne 'dont call me baby' piddlecombe off srictly ?
Wizzemcphee,how can we get Anne 'dont call me baby' piddlecombe off srictly ?
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by wizzy on Nov 12, 2010 1:50:01 GMT 1, Sacked, If i knew that i would be happy, one way would be to kidnap her dance partner Anton Dubreakmyleg (he of the slightly scary i will do anything to be on telly and ever so sickly false smile with enough teeth to eat an apple through a chain link fence) and substitute him with a homicidal axe wielding maniac called Cleetus, with a bit of luck not only will Cleetus frighten her off the programme but he will also get rid of the other time wasters on there and leave only Len who will be gibbering in the corner, whats that Len? Seven you say? here try this..... BAM, now its eight.
Mop that up now.
Sacked, If i knew that i would be happy, one way would be to kidnap her dance partner Anton Dubreakmyleg (he of the slightly scary i will do anything to be on telly and ever so sickly false smile with enough teeth to eat an apple through a chain link fence) and substitute him with a homicidal axe wielding maniac called Cleetus, with a bit of luck not only will Cleetus frighten her off the programme but he will also get rid of the other time wasters on there and leave only Len who will be gibbering in the corner, whats that Len? Seven you say? here try this..... BAM, now its eight.
Mop that up now.
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Wearology
Junior Member
Staff at FatFreeArt
๐จ๏ธ 3,596
๐๐ป 4,512
April 2008
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by Wearology on Nov 12, 2010 3:15:46 GMT 1, Dear Mr. Wizfucious,
I went to sleep with itchy ass and woke up with smelly fingah. Do you think there is a correlation between the 2 independent actions or is it just a coincidence.
Thank you, Stinky Pinky
Dear Mr. Wizfucious,
I went to sleep with itchy ass and woke up with smelly fingah. Do you think there is a correlation between the 2 independent actions or is it just a coincidence.
Thank you, Stinky Pinky
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Natas
New Member
๐จ๏ธ 493
๐๐ป 3
June 2007
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by Natas on Nov 12, 2010 10:12:15 GMT 1, Dear Dalai Wiz-Lama,
Do you believe the Apollo moon landing conspiracy theory? Would the moon buggy that was left there be evidence against a hoax if any future landing takes place? But why were the blueprints and plans for the Lunar Module and Moon Buggy destroyed by NASA. Was it really just a hoax and the real reason why we haven't been back since!
Dear Dalai Wiz-Lama,
Do you believe the Apollo moon landing conspiracy theory? Would the moon buggy that was left there be evidence against a hoax if any future landing takes place? But why were the blueprints and plans for the Lunar Module and Moon Buggy destroyed by NASA. Was it really just a hoax and the real reason why we haven't been back since!
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by wizzy on Nov 12, 2010 10:34:06 GMT 1, Stinky Pinky. I refer you to your previous question and also my answer to that question ie. those "Special" viruses, also are you absolutely certain it was your own finger? or indeed you own itchy Bot Bot?, try either smearing some Savlon on both these offending parts or just go hell for leather all out for the full body itch, you will find its both big and clever!. Dont forget to wear protection next time and i dont mean a welding mask. You need a holiday.
Stinky Pinky. I refer you to your previous question and also my answer to that question ie. those "Special" viruses, also are you absolutely certain it was your own finger? or indeed you own itchy Bot Bot?, try either smearing some Savlon on both these offending parts or just go hell for leather all out for the full body itch, you will find its both big and clever!. Dont forget to wear protection next time and i dont mean a welding mask. You need a holiday.
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by wizzy on Nov 12, 2010 10:40:00 GMT 1, Car1. I think we all know this one dont we?, it was infact a hoax and was filmed both at Pinewood studios for the close ups and Cardiff town center for the landscape shots, the "Astronauts" were infact Fred Gatley a fish and chip shop owner, Jack Bengry a coal merchant, George Raft the late actor whom they specially reincarnated for the role and Geoffrey from Rainbow. The film took a full four hours and had to be filmed at mid day when the whole of Cardiff was asleep so as to look real. After filming the men involved were zapped with a secret thing like on Men in Black so they forgot it.....but they didnt!......or did they?. Mulder and Scullery? dont go there.
Car1. I think we all know this one dont we?, it was infact a hoax and was filmed both at Pinewood studios for the close ups and Cardiff town center for the landscape shots, the "Astronauts" were infact Fred Gatley a fish and chip shop owner, Jack Bengry a coal merchant, George Raft the late actor whom they specially reincarnated for the role and Geoffrey from Rainbow. The film took a full four hours and had to be filmed at mid day when the whole of Cardiff was asleep so as to look real. After filming the men involved were zapped with a secret thing like on Men in Black so they forgot it.....but they didnt!......or did they?. Mulder and Scullery? dont go there.
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scavos
Junior Member
๐จ๏ธ 1,929
๐๐ป 101
June 2007
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by scavos on Nov 12, 2010 12:23:03 GMT 1, Wiz,
You're a man of the world.
I wonder if you would enlighten me as to what are the 'thirty-nine steps' and what does any of it have to do with spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch? I can't leave home without them.
Thanks in advance. scavos.
Wiz,
You're a man of the world.
I wonder if you would enlighten me as to what are the 'thirty-nine steps' and what does any of it have to do with spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch? I can't leave home without them.
Thanks in advance. scavos.
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Natas
New Member
๐จ๏ธ 493
๐๐ป 3
June 2007
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by Natas on Nov 12, 2010 12:24:17 GMT 1, As suspected, although I was undecided on Cardiff and Chatham. Thanks for clarrification.
As suspected, although I was undecided on Cardiff and Chatham. Thanks for clarrification.
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by wizzy on Nov 12, 2010 13:41:45 GMT 1, Already has MrFrank, her name is Delores and she lives in Manchester, she works part time behind the bar in a Canal Street establishment and does fancy things with ice cubes. I have on many occasions paid her a visit but wont go into that now as its another story. In the daytime she goes by the name Trevor Hemmings.
Shes waiting for your call.
Already has MrFrank, her name is Delores and she lives in Manchester, she works part time behind the bar in a Canal Street establishment and does fancy things with ice cubes. I have on many occasions paid her a visit but wont go into that now as its another story. In the daytime she goes by the name Trevor Hemmings.
Shes waiting for your call.
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by wizzy on Nov 12, 2010 14:03:59 GMT 1, Scavos. The 39 steps are very important but thats enough of that for now. You cannot leave home without the four essentials i understand? i myself have learned to overcome this by substituting those four for a different set which are Oxygen tank, identity incase i forget who i am, something to eat and a servant, this collection covers most needs i may find i encounter. To get back to the steps which you are banging on about, there were infact 40 originally but one fell off.
"Shtep in Toime" in a Van Dyke / Mary Poppins stylee accent.
Scavos. The 39 steps are very important but thats enough of that for now. You cannot leave home without the four essentials i understand? i myself have learned to overcome this by substituting those four for a different set which are Oxygen tank, identity incase i forget who i am, something to eat and a servant, this collection covers most needs i may find i encounter. To get back to the steps which you are banging on about, there were infact 40 originally but one fell off.
"Shtep in Toime" in a Van Dyke / Mary Poppins stylee accent.
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saint
Junior Member
๐จ๏ธ 4,887
๐๐ป 1,881
September 2010
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by saint on Nov 12, 2010 14:50:46 GMT 1, Dear Wiz,
My partner recently told me something i didn't know, is it true?
Regards
confused in camden.
Dear Wiz,
My partner recently told me something i didn't know, is it true?
Regards
confused in camden.
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jesustheba
New Member
๐จ๏ธ 304
๐๐ป 137
July 2008
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by jesustheba on Nov 12, 2010 14:58:18 GMT 1, Dear Mr Bong
I got a letter from the government, the other day , I opened and read it, it said they were suckers ,they wanted me for their army or whatever, Picture me giving a damn , I said never!
What the hever should i do
Dear Mr Bong
I got a letter from the government, the other day , I opened and read it, it said they were suckers ,they wanted me for their army or whatever, Picture me giving a damn , I said never!
What the hever should i do
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by wizzy on Nov 12, 2010 15:11:48 GMT 1, Confused in Camden. Its true im afraid, your partner did speak to me about this first and we had a good chat about it before we met for Dinner, anyhow over Breakfast we discussed it again and thought it best to let you in on what was going on so thats that im afraid, dont worry about the decorating as i have arranged to have some men in to finish it off. It was your hair apparently?.
You key doesnt fit the lock now.
Confused in Camden. Its true im afraid, your partner did speak to me about this first and we had a good chat about it before we met for Dinner, anyhow over Breakfast we discussed it again and thought it best to let you in on what was going on so thats that im afraid, dont worry about the decorating as i have arranged to have some men in to finish it off. It was your hair apparently?.
You key doesnt fit the lock now.
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by wizzy on Nov 12, 2010 15:15:09 GMT 1, Jesustheba. You should join their Army, i am sure you will find plenty to do in there such as Butcher Baker or Candlestick maker, if none of those career moves takes your fancy then you should make friends with the RSM in there as i am v sure he will make your time very cosy indeed depending on how nice you can be. On the other hand you could always leg it to some far off country and never be seen or heard of again but if i were you i would take the easy option and join.
Polish that Rifle.
Jesustheba. You should join their Army, i am sure you will find plenty to do in there such as Butcher Baker or Candlestick maker, if none of those career moves takes your fancy then you should make friends with the RSM in there as i am v sure he will make your time very cosy indeed depending on how nice you can be. On the other hand you could always leg it to some far off country and never be seen or heard of again but if i were you i would take the easy option and join.
Polish that Rifle.
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saint
Junior Member
๐จ๏ธ 4,887
๐๐ป 1,881
September 2010
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by saint on Nov 12, 2010 15:15:46 GMT 1, i wondered where he was that weekend.
No matter, and yes it was my hair. Thank goodness the decorating will be done as frankly it looks awful.
Thanks for your help.
No longer confused in camden.
i wondered where he was that weekend.
No matter, and yes it was my hair. Thank goodness the decorating will be done as frankly it looks awful.
Thanks for your help.
No longer confused in camden.
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by wizzy on Nov 12, 2010 15:19:20 GMT 1, The all seeing wiz will be taking a short break now due to the need to restock on spookiness etc.
Back soon
Cheers.
The all seeing wiz will be taking a short break now due to the need to restock on spookiness etc.
Back soon
Cheers.
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hlarmy
Junior Member
๐จ๏ธ 3,199
๐๐ป 64
November 2007
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by hlarmy on Nov 12, 2010 15:27:14 GMT 1, The all seeing wiz will be taking a short break now due to the need to restock on spookiness etc. Back soon Cheers.
Goodbye Sir Wiz, you'll be missed 
The all seeing wiz will be taking a short break now due to the need to restock on spookiness etc. Back soon Cheers. Goodbye Sir Wiz, you'll be missed |
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Sacked...
Full Member
๐จ๏ธ 7,978
๐๐ป 1,338
October 2007
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by Sacked... on Nov 12, 2010 18:23:05 GMT 1, Dear Lethal Wizzle
Why does it always rain on me ?
Yours sincerly.
Travis.
Dear Lethal Wizzle
Why does it always rain on me ?
Yours sincerly.
Travis.
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afroken
Junior Member
๐จ๏ธ 1,018
๐๐ป 29
February 2009
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by afroken on Nov 12, 2010 19:55:26 GMT 1, Your eminence,
Full frontal lobotomy? Or full bottle in front of me?
I thank you,
Ken
Your eminence,
Full frontal lobotomy? Or full bottle in front of me?
I thank you,
Ken
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peggy
New Member
๐จ๏ธ 145
๐๐ป 8
March 2010
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- Ask Wizbong Anything !!! -, by peggy on Nov 13, 2010 0:47:33 GMT 1, DO YOU LIKE LAMB & RICE BURNS LIKE ME?
DO YOU LIKE LAMB & RICE BURNS LIKE ME?
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