johnnyh
Junior Member
๐จ๏ธ 4,492
๐๐ป 2,102
March 2011
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Joke of the day, by johnnyh on Nov 27, 2011 13:09:42 GMT 1, Be careful CNH you could be accused of being on the wrong thread !!!!
Mate of mine just told me he is thinking of divorcing his wife. I asked why he said she hasn't spoke to me for nearly 4 months
Told him to consider things carefully as women like that are really F 'in hard to find
Be careful CNH you could be accused of being on the wrong thread !!!!
Mate of mine just told me he is thinking of divorcing his wife. I asked why he said she hasn't spoke to me for nearly 4 months
Told him to consider things carefully as women like that are really F 'in hard to find
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Joke of the day, by fingerz on Nov 29, 2011 18:23:22 GMT 1, Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world
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Joke of the day, by hunter007 on Nov 29, 2011 18:28:58 GMT 1, Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world
more of an statement than joke, Like it
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world more of an statement than joke, Like it |
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Joke of the day, by fingerz on Dec 6, 2011 16:14:01 GMT 1, Me and the misses got ourselves on of those new 3D TVs the other day, and she was stunned: "I wonder what it would be like if real life was 3D?" She asked
Me and the misses got ourselves on of those new 3D TVs the other day, and she was stunned: "I wonder what it would be like if real life was 3D?" She asked
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johnnyh
Junior Member
๐จ๏ธ 4,492
๐๐ป 2,102
March 2011
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Joke of the day, by johnnyh on Dec 6, 2011 18:23:24 GMT 1, Sitting watching match of the day when the Mrs came in the room and says
"fancy a shag honey"
I said " after the football love"
She said "you do realize you can record it"
I said "Great you set up the camcorder and I'll be up when the football is finished"
Sitting watching match of the day when the Mrs came in the room and says
"fancy a shag honey"
I said " after the football love"
She said "you do realize you can record it"
I said "Great you set up the camcorder and I'll be up when the football is finished"
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Joke of the day, by hunter007 on Dec 6, 2011 18:30:09 GMT 1, Sitting watching match of the day when the Mrs came in the room and says "fancy a shag honey" I said " after the football love" She said "you do realize you can record it" I said "Great you set up the camcorder and I'll be up when the football is finished"
ha ha
Sitting watching match of the day when the Mrs came in the room and says "fancy a shag honey" I said " after the football love" She said "you do realize you can record it" I said "Great you set up the camcorder and I'll be up when the football is finished" ha ha |
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Joke of the day, by des77 on Dec 6, 2011 19:27:53 GMT 1,
An Apache goes into a bank and asks for a loan of 200 dollars. The bank manager asks for collateral:"I have 150 horses," says the Apache, so the bank manager lends him the money. A month later, the Apache comes into the bank with 2,220 dollars in his hand and pays off his debt with interest. "Wouldn't you prefer to deposit the rest of your money with us?" asks the bank manager. The Apache looks at him suspiciously, then looks around the bank and asks the banker......."How many horses you got?
An Apache goes into a bank and asks for a loan of 200 dollars. The bank manager asks for collateral:"I have 150 horses," says the Apache, so the bank manager lends him the money. A month later, the Apache comes into the bank with 2,220 dollars in his hand and pays off his debt with interest. "Wouldn't you prefer to deposit the rest of your money with us?" asks the bank manager. The Apache looks at him suspiciously, then looks around the bank and asks the banker......."How many horses you got?
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Deleted
๐จ๏ธ 0
๐๐ป
January 1970
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Joke of the day, by Deleted on Dec 6, 2011 21:26:27 GMT 1, Sitting watching match of the day when the Mrs came in the room and says "fancy a shag honey" I said " after the football love" She said "you do realize you can record it" I said "Great you set up the camcorder and I'll be up when the football is finished"
ha ha
Sitting watching match of the day when the Mrs came in the room and says "fancy a shag honey" I said " after the football love" She said "you do realize you can record it" I said "Great you set up the camcorder and I'll be up when the football is finished" ha ha |
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curiousgeorge
Junior Member
๐จ๏ธ 5,833
๐๐ป 1,091
March 2007
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Joke of the day, by curiousgeorge on Dec 6, 2011 21:48:54 GMT 1, Sitting watching match of the day when the Mrs came in the room and says "fancy a shag honey" I said " after the football love" She said "you do realize you can record it" I said "Great you set up the camcorder and I'll be up when the football is finished" ha ha
Howling in hospital in here 
Nurses really didn't 'get' it at all 
Sitting watching match of the day when the Mrs came in the room and says "fancy a shag honey" I said " after the football love" She said "you do realize you can record it" I said "Great you set up the camcorder and I'll be up when the football is finished" ha ha Howling in hospital in here Nurses really didn't 'get' it at all |
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johnnyh
Junior Member
๐จ๏ธ 4,492
๐๐ป 2,102
March 2011
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Joke of the day, by johnnyh on Dec 11, 2011 9:32:50 GMT 1, Glad you enjoyed that one George hope your feeling better. Bit of a foota one for the English
Breaking news ........
David Cameron has travelled to Manchester to find out how to get out of Europe!!!!!
While in the North he also visited Liverpool where 30,000 Liverpudlians were asked if Britain should change it's currency
98% said no we should keep the Giro
Glad you enjoyed that one George hope your feeling better. Bit of a foota one for the English
Breaking news ........
David Cameron has travelled to Manchester to find out how to get out of Europe!!!!!
While in the North he also visited Liverpool where 30,000 Liverpudlians were asked if Britain should change it's currency
98% said no we should keep the Giro
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Joke of the day, by fingerz on Dec 13, 2011 9:57:35 GMT 1, I went clothes shopping yesterday, the only thing that fit me was the f**kin changing room
I went clothes shopping yesterday, the only thing that fit me was the f**kin changing room
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leaky217
New Member
๐จ๏ธ 485
๐๐ป 97
February 2011
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Joke of the day, by leaky217 on Dec 13, 2011 12:36:56 GMT 1, yo momma,s so fat when i saw here crossing the street, i had to swerve and ran out of petrol
yo momma,s so fat when i saw here crossing the street, i had to swerve and ran out of petrol
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johnnyh
Junior Member
๐จ๏ธ 4,492
๐๐ป 2,102
March 2011
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Joke of the day, by johnnyh on Dec 13, 2011 13:54:36 GMT 1, Great to see that the two pandas Yang Guang and Tian Tian have fitted in so well in Scotland
They already have fat bellies and two black eyes
Great to see that the two pandas Yang Guang and Tian Tian have fitted in so well in Scotland
They already have fat bellies and two black eyes
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leaky217
New Member
๐จ๏ธ 485
๐๐ป 97
February 2011
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Joke of the day, by leaky217 on Dec 13, 2011 14:58:01 GMT 1, true story;my freinds girlfreind was on holiday ,whilst trying to cook a meal, he read the packet then had to ring his girlfreind to ask if there oven was a preheated one or not .ha ha
true story;my freinds girlfreind was on holiday ,whilst trying to cook a meal, he read the packet then had to ring his girlfreind to ask if there oven was a preheated one or not .ha ha
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Joke of the day, by Jeezuz Jones Snr on Dec 13, 2011 22:30:15 GMT 1, Nudist Colony
A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony....
On his first day there, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander
around.
A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an
erection.
The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, 'Did you
call for me?'
The man replies, 'No, what do you mean?'
She says, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that
if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.'
Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a
towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with
her.
The man continues to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the
sauna and, as he sits down, he farts.....
Within minutes, a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam-room toward
him, 'Did you call for me?' says the hairy man.
'No, what do you mean?' says the newcomer.
'You must be new,' says the hairy man, 'it's a rule that if you fart,
it implies that you called for me.' The huge man easily spins him
around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him.
The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by
the smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she says.
The man yells, 'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back
and you can keep the ยฃ500 membership fee.'
'But, Sir,' she replies, 'you've only been here for a few hours. You
haven't had the chance to see all our facilities.'
The man replies, 'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection
once a month. I fart 35 times a day!!'
Nudist Colony
A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony....
On his first day there, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander
around.
A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an
erection.
The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, 'Did you
call for me?'
The man replies, 'No, what do you mean?'
She says, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that
if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.'
Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a
towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with
her.
The man continues to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the
sauna and, as he sits down, he farts.....
Within minutes, a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam-room toward
him, 'Did you call for me?' says the hairy man.
'No, what do you mean?' says the newcomer.
'You must be new,' says the hairy man, 'it's a rule that if you fart,
it implies that you called for me.' The huge man easily spins him
around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him.
The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by
the smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she says.
The man yells, 'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back
and you can keep the ยฃ500 membership fee.'
'But, Sir,' she replies, 'you've only been here for a few hours. You
haven't had the chance to see all our facilities.'
The man replies, 'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection
once a month. I fart 35 times a day!!'
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curiousgeorge
Junior Member
๐จ๏ธ 5,833
๐๐ป 1,091
March 2007
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Joke of the day, by curiousgeorge on Dec 14, 2011 1:34:06 GMT 1, Excellent ;D
Wanting to laugh like a drain but scared of busting a stitch, even funnier in a odd way
Nudist Colony A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony.... On his first day there, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, 'Did you call for me?' The man replies, 'No, what do you mean?' She says, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.' Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her. The man continues to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna and, as he sits down, he farts..... Within minutes, a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam-room toward him, 'Did you call for me?' says the hairy man. 'No, what do you mean?' says the newcomer. 'You must be new,' says the hairy man, 'it's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.' The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him. The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she says. The man yells, 'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the ยฃ500 membership fee.' 'But, Sir,' she replies, 'you've only been here for a few hours. You haven't had the chance to see all our facilities.' The man replies, 'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month. I fart 35 times a day!!'
Excellent ;D Wanting to laugh like a drain but scared of busting a stitch, even funnier in a odd way Nudist Colony A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony.... On his first day there, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, 'Did you call for me?' The man replies, 'No, what do you mean?' She says, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.' Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her. The man continues to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna and, as he sits down, he farts..... Within minutes, a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam-room toward him, 'Did you call for me?' says the hairy man. 'No, what do you mean?' says the newcomer. 'You must be new,' says the hairy man, 'it's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.' The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him. The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she says. The man yells, 'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the ยฃ500 membership fee.' 'But, Sir,' she replies, 'you've only been here for a few hours. You haven't had the chance to see all our facilities.' The man replies, 'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month. I fart 35 times a day!!' |
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Joke of the day, by Jeezuz Jones Snr on Dec 14, 2011 3:23:48 GMT 1,  ;D
;D
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Joke of the day, by fingerz on Dec 15, 2011 12:51:14 GMT 1, What is Santaโs Favourite Pizza? ..... One thatโs deep pan, crisp and even
What is Santaโs Favourite Pizza? ..... One thatโs deep pan, crisp and even
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Joke of the day, by des77 on Dec 15, 2011 13:05:19 GMT 1, What is Santaโs Favourite Pizza? ..... One thatโs deep pan, crisp and even
that is awful
What is Santaโs Favourite Pizza? ..... One thatโs deep pan, crisp and even that is awful |
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Joke of the day, by fingerz on Dec 15, 2011 13:09:36 GMT 1, What is Santaโs Favourite Pizza? ..... One thatโs deep pan, crisp and even that is awful
What is Santaโs Favourite Pizza? ..... One thatโs deep pan, crisp and even that is awful |
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Joke of the day, by fingerz on Dec 16, 2011 19:58:25 GMT 1, I don't mind lesbians, actually.
They're still women who won't sleep with me, but at least it's nothing personal.
I don't mind lesbians, actually.
They're still women who won't sleep with me, but at least it's nothing personal.
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BorntoKiln
Artist
New Member
๐จ๏ธ 808
๐๐ป 793
January 2011
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Joke of the day, by BorntoKiln on Dec 17, 2011 11:43:51 GMT 1, What do you call an Artist without a girlfriend?
Fucking homeless! Boom Boom.
What do you call an Artist without a girlfriend?
Fucking homeless! Boom Boom.
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Joke of the day, by bernard on Dec 17, 2011 12:27:53 GMT 1, Peter Snow trumped once while reading the news on telly, funny.
Peter Snow trumped once while reading the news on telly, funny.
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Joke of the day, by des77 on Dec 20, 2011 12:31:36 GMT 1, I Just bought Cluedo: Gang Rape edition.
Turns out they all did it.
I Just bought Cluedo: Gang Rape edition.
Turns out they all did it.
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Joke of the day, by hunter007 on Dec 21, 2011 17:09:57 GMT 1, I've been blessed with a huge p***s. Don't know why the priest didn't just do the sign of the cross like he did everyone else.
I've been blessed with a huge p***s. Don't know why the priest didn't just do the sign of the cross like he did everyone else.
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Joke of the day, by fingerz on Dec 21, 2011 18:58:23 GMT 1, One day, a mum was cleaning her son's room and in the closet she found a bondage-S&M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her.
She showed it to her husband.
He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word.
She finally asked him, "Well, what should we do about this?"
The dad looked at her and said, "Well whatever you do, don't spank him!"
One day, a mum was cleaning her son's room and in the closet she found a bondage-S&M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her.
She showed it to her husband.
He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word.
She finally asked him, "Well, what should we do about this?"
The dad looked at her and said, "Well whatever you do, don't spank him!"
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Joke of the day, by hunter007 on Dec 22, 2011 16:00:53 GMT 1, My dog kept chasing people on a bike.So we took his bike off him.Then he just sat in the garden and barked all day.So we gave him his bike back.Because his bark was worse than his bike
My dog kept chasing people on a bike.So we took his bike off him.Then he just sat in the garden and barked all day.So we gave him his bike back.Because his bark was worse than his bike
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Joke of the day, by xmyart on Dec 22, 2011 16:09:55 GMT 1, What is Santaโs Favourite Pizza? ..... One thatโs deep pan, crisp and even
And you had the cheek to pull me up for dad jokes the other day!!! Good lord!!!
What is Santaโs Favourite Pizza? ..... One thatโs deep pan, crisp and even And you had the cheek to pull me up for dad jokes the other day!!! Good lord!!! |
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Joke of the day, by fingerz on Dec 22, 2011 16:12:57 GMT 1, ^ hahaha ..... ;D
^ hahaha ..... ;D
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dc8010
New Member
๐จ๏ธ 52
๐๐ป 14
October 2006
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Joke of the day, by dc8010 on Dec 23, 2011 22:26:40 GMT 1, what do you call a man with a toe made of rubber?
roberto
what do you call a man with a toe made of rubber?
roberto
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;D
